Poetry


15354160_10154726551804906_1238989708_oChristina Engela wrote her first poem – ‘The Old Man From George’, a limerick – in 1986, at the start of her first year in high school, at the age of 12 years. During that year she completed 5 poems – each in a different format, all for school assignments in English poetry class that year. Sadly, standard 6 (grade 8 these days) was the ONLY year in which students were then encouraged to write their own poetry – instead of just studying the works of other poets.

Poetry was at first not an ideal form of expression for Christina, who preferred short story writing, and still endeavored to write a novel. The next time she wrote a poem, it was three years later, in 1989. ‘That Which Is’ became her first inspired piece of poetry, which sparked off a string of self-expressive poetry.

Christina has written poetry about history, culture, politics, identity (particularly relating to sexual orientation, gender identity, and also cultural identity), as well as that bane of all poets – depression and love.

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In 1990, one of her poems was published for the very first time ever – ‘Surrender’, a poem about the then topical German reunification, was published in Pearson High School’s year book.

Christina continued to write poetry after finishing high school at the end of 1991, right into her early years in the army. At that time she began to express her experience of gender dysphoria in her poetry – and she has several times mentioned in interviews that the only time she writes poetry about herself is when she is utterly miserable! That being said, she has also written a lot of really funny, humorous poems as well.

During the late 1990’s, Christina hand-wrote quite a lot of poems directly into her notebook, noting a start-time and an end-time – often taking only ten or twenty minutes to compose and write one poem.

By 2005, Christina had enough poems to publish a collection of her own works entitled ‘White Picket Fences (& Other Fairy Tales)‘, which is now out of print. She continued to write more poetry in the meantime, through the completion of her transition and after, when she began to explore the concept of alternate cultural identities through poetry.

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In 2014, her poem ‘Love Will Never Be The Same’ (1991) – a poem about a girl she knew at high school, who was a rape survivor – was published in ‘Words Of Wisdom‘, a poetry collection published by the Department of Arts & Culture (Gauteng).

Poetry Bibliography of Christina Engela:

This is a complete list of individual poems by Christina Engela:

Although Christina has written close to 300 poems in her lifetime, some are not listed, as she feels these are too private and are listed as ‘unnamed’ for that reason.

1 Fear (1986)
2 Frank O’Toole (1986)
3 School (1986)
4 Snake (1986)
5 The Old Man From George (1986)
6 A Door Called Death (1989)
7 A Long Time Ago (1989)
8 Be Not Afraid (1989)
9 Defeat (1989)
10 Demonspawn (1989)
11 Eternity’s End (1989)
12 Father (1989)
13 For The World Is Hollow (1989)
14 Friendship (1989)
15 Goodbye (1989)
16 Guardian Of The Gate Of Dreams (1989)
17 If You Were To Die (1989)
18 Live (1989)
19 Live Forever (1989)
20 Love Is Eternal (1989)
21 Miss Piggy (1989)
22 Mother (1989)
23 Prostitutes (1989)
24 Sluts (1989)
25 Suicide In The Rain (1989)
26 Teacher (1989)
27 That Which Is (1989)
28 The Bird (1989)
29 The Dream (1989)
30 The End Of Time (1989)
31 The Face (1989)
32 The Yearning (1989)
33 To Be Honest (1989)
34 Will I See You Tomorrow? (1989)
35 Devotion (1990)
36 I Am In Your Heart (1990)
37 It Is Time (1990)
38 Ordiss, God Of Death (1990)
39 Otto Von Bismarck (1990)
40 Poetry (1990)
41 Politics (1990)
42 Poverty (1990)
43 Song For You (1990)
44 Spontaneous Poetry (1990)
45 Surrender (1990)
46 The One Who Waits (1990)
47 We Will Remember Them (1990)
48 When I Cry (1990)
49 Women (1990)
50 Words (1990)
51 A Witch’s Spell (1991)
52 Again (1991)
53 Answers (1991)
54 Battlecry (1991)
55 Codicil (1991)
56 Darkness In The Day (1991)
57 Ego Est (1991)
58 Every Day Is A Monday (1991)
59 Fate, The Demon (1991)
60 Forgiveness (1991)
61 Friends (1991)
62 From The Barrel Of A Gun (1991)
63 Genius (1991)
64 How Deep Does Your Love Go? (1991)
65 I Love My Uncle Sam (1991)
66 I Not The Same As They (1991)
67 John Brown (1991)
68 Love 4 Love (1991)
69 Love Will Never Be The Same (1991)
70 North And South (1991)
71 Nothing Is A Lot To Waste (1991)
72 Ode To A Nymphomaniac (1991)
73 One Conclusion (1991)
74 Piece And Quiet (1991)
75 Reflection (1991)
76 Regverdig (1991)
77 Schools (1991)
78 Soul Sweet Melody (1991)
79 Survival (1991)
80 The Beginning Of Nonsense (1991)
81 The Narrow Way To The Stars (1991)
82 The Rhyme Of Death (1991)
83 The Sadist’s Song (1991)
84 The Tree (1991)
85 The Violator (1991)
86 The Way (1991)
87 Willy Spearshook (1991)
88 You’ll Never Win (1991)
89 A Day At St. George’s Swimming Pool (1992)
90 A Surreal Experience (1992)
91 And So Life Goes On (1992)
92 Guilty Of You (1992)
93 Love Is Love (1992)
94 No Future But Now (1992)
95 Not The Only Way (1992)
96 Song Of Gladness (1992)
97 Sorry (1992)
98 Time (1992)
99 This Side Of You (1993)
100 National Service (1994)
101 When God’s Hand Bursts My Bubble (1995)
102 I Want You Inside (1997)
103 My Dyke (1997)
104 One Way (1997)
105 Something Hot n’ Steamy (1997)
106 The Bug Brigade (1997)
107 The Hand (1997)
108 The Lament Of The Bushbanger (1997)
109 An Ode To An S+M Freak (1998)
110 Be My Lover (1998)
111 Daydream (1998)
112 He’s Not Sure What I Am (1998)
113 I Love The Way You Feel (1998)
114 It Doesn’t Matter (1998)
115 My Cause Is Just (1998)
116 My Girlfriend In Drag (1998)
117 Peaches ‘N Scream (1998)
118 Statue Of Liberty (1998)
119 Vanity (1998)
120 When Of A Certain Age (1998)
121 A Roll In The Hay (1999)
122 Unnamed (1999)
123 Unnamed (1999)
124 Unnamed (1999)
125 Chicks With Dicks (1999)
126 Get Your Fix (1999)
127 Girl With A Willy (1999)
128 Homophobia Is A Terrible Thing (1999)
129 If You Want Me (1999)
130 It’s No Tragedy (1999)
131 My Heart Is Silent (1999)
132 My Sex Is True (1999)
133 Ode To A Grecian Urn (1999)
134 Open Your Eyes (1999)
135 Pick Me Up At Eight (1999)
136 Queen Girl (1999)
137 Set Things Right (1999)
138 Silently, I Cheered (1999)
139 The Boy Called Roy (1999)
140 The Boy From Hick (1999)
141 The Contortionist From Trent (1999)
142 The Girl Who Liked (1999)
143 Unnamed (1999)
144 The Guy Called King (1999)
145 The Guy From New York (1999)
146 The Guy Who Made Passes (1999)
147 The Queen From Venus (1999)
148 The Singer pt1 (1999)
149 The Singer pt2 (1999)
150 Under The Belt (1999)
151 What’s Love Got To Do With Me? (1999)
152 Whose Fear Is It Anyway? (1999)
153 Why She Wanted To Stay (1999)
154 You Were Warned (1999)
155 Cat & Mouse (2000)
156 Cry Myself To Sleep (2000)
157 Don’t Be Sad When I’m Gone (2000)
158 Express Elevator To Hell (2000)
159 His Love Is Near (2000)
160 I Wish He’d Fall In Love With Me (2000)
161 Ice In Your Heart (2000)
162 In Love’s True Name (2000)
163 In The Eyes Of Love (2000)
164 In The Home Of Light Residing (2000)
165 Love You Dearly (2000)
166 Molly September (2000)
167 Mourning Love (2000)
168 My Private Hell (2000)
169 One Of My Kind (2000)
170 Sad & Blu (2000)
171 The Job (2000)
172 Time Has Had Its Way (2000)
173 Time (2000)
174 A Change Of Clothes (2001)
175 All My Yesterdays (2001)
176 Behind My Back (2001)
177 Bridges Built (2001)
178 Cold, Cold Heart (2001)
179 Darkness Fades (2001)
180 Deep Blue Sky (2001)
181 Drag Queens (2001)
182 In My Heart (2001)
183 In The End (2001)
184 Jigsaw (2001)
185 Just Don’t Want To Let You Go (2001)
186 Koue Hande, Warm Liefde (2001)
187 Know Better (2001)
188 Letting Go (2001)
189 Love Equals Pain (2001)
190 Love’s Sun Has Set (2001)
191 Unnamed (2001)
192 My Friend (2001)
193 My Honey, My Baby (2001)
194 My Loving Heart (2001)
195 My Own Worst Enemy (2001)
196 On My Way (2001)
197 Peace Of Mind (2001)
198 Subtlety (2001)
199 Superbitch (2001)
200 The Dentist (2001)
201 The Love Of A Friend (2001)
202 The Words We Meant (2001)
203 Tomorrow Comes (2001)
204 When Truth Offends (2001)
205 Valentine’s Day (2002)
206 The Engine Of Bigotry (2008)
207 Why (2008)
208 A Vampire’s Heart (2010)
209 A Bloody Ecstasy (2010)
210 Beautiful (2010)
211 Breakaway Incantation (2010)
212 Breaking Up Incantation (2010)
213 Choice (2010)
214 Fast Love (2010)
215 Forbidden Fruit (2010)
216 Immersion (2010)
217 In Lasting Silence (2010)
218 Linger (2010)
219 Malfunction (2010)
220 More Is Not Enough (2010)
221 My Compassionate Embrace (2010)
222 Power In The Eyes (2010)
223 Providence (2010)
224 Reflections (2010)
225 Stay The Night With Me (2010)
226 The Apple (2010)
227 The Duality Of Pain (2010)
228 Vicious Circle Of Life (2010)
229 My Lalae (2012)
230   State Capture (2017)
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